Today was rough.
It started out rough from the get-go, and I just knew it was going to be
"one of those days."
My intuition was spot on.
(That's one of the benefits of being a woman.)
I kept coaching myself throughout the morning
(when my nap that I was only 10 minutes into ended because the next-door neighbor's dog wouldn't stop yapping on our side of the house!)
"the good thing about a bad day is...
the next day usually turns out a whole lot better!"
But before tomorrow could arrive,
I had to finish today.
When I picked up E from school today
she was walked to the car by her teacher-who seemed a bit peeved.
She explained, "We pulled her card today because she ran to a waiting van to pet a dog.
I told her that wasn't safe and we don't do that.
I told her to stand by the wall, but she left the area again."
Then looking at E she said, "Mom and dad want us to be safe."
The teacher looked at me for back up.
I played my part.
"We had the same problem a couple of weeks ago," I said.
"I told her she can't approach a car to pet a dog because it isn't safe."
Lastly, the teacher said E was going to have to stay after school tomorrow
(apparently that's the result of "having your card pulled")
to think about the consequences of her choices for a couple of minutes.
I closed the car door and E burst into tears saying, "I do NOT want her to be my teacher anymore." Then even louder, as she sobbed, she said, "I want her FIRED!"
I thought that was pretty clever.
I almost laughed.
Instead I opted to cry with her (behind my sunglasses) because I too was having
"one of those days."
I put the car in park - right there at the curb in the middle of pick up-
and opened her door to give her a couple of good hugs and a few tender kisses.
(I hope the teach saw that move!)
"Let's go home and discuss this," I said.
K started right in with the bugging as we pulled away from the school,
"Why are you sad? Why are you crying? What did she do?"
K had been bugging ME all morning.
I could tell (mother's intuition again) that if I was going to work this out with E,
I needed to be rid of my attention-seeking daughter K.
I drove straight over to my friend's house, calling her on the way.
"Hey. Are you home for the next little bit?" I asked.
She replied, "Yeah."
I asked, "Can I drop K off to play for an hour or so?"
She said, "Sure. Why don't you leave her for 2 hours?"
I said, "Great. I'm outside your gate. I'll be there in one minute."
By the time E and I got home, sans K, I needed to feed the baby and put him down for a nap.
So that's what I did.
Then E and I sunbathed - her choice - in the backyard.
We sat and talked at the table while she ate a snack.
We discussed what happened.
I told the story about the time I got a pink slip when I was in first grade.
It was my first and only one.
I was too embarrassed to tell the teacher why I got it.
I always regretted that since it wasn't my fault.
Then we laid a beach towel on the grass where we continued to sunbathe
and read stories from the Friend (children's church magazine).
E seems happy now. She doesn't want to talk anymore about "the incident."
I do. I'm mad at the teacher for forgetting or not understanding how to work with E.
Her brain works in a unique way - the Autism Spectrum way.
While rules need to be followed and not broken,
(I'm as big of a proponent for that as anyone will ever be)
anyone with a child on the Autism Spectrum knows that usually
our kids aren't breaking the rules, they just completely forget them.
Certainly stimuli can take over their brain's ability to process
in the heat of the moment.
It was not an act of willful disobedience the first or second time,
rather she simply responded to stimuli despite prior instruction not to.
This is exactly why we participate in Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapy
three times a week: to teach, review, and re-teach skills that other children just get.
I will have to go to school early tomorrow and talk with the teacher
to make sure E's "consequences" are fair.
Tomorrow, please do not disappoint.
We're are counting on you to provide a better day - for ALL of us.
It started out rough from the get-go, and I just knew it was going to be
"one of those days."
My intuition was spot on.
(That's one of the benefits of being a woman.)
I kept coaching myself throughout the morning
(when my nap that I was only 10 minutes into ended because the next-door neighbor's dog wouldn't stop yapping on our side of the house!)
"the good thing about a bad day is...
the next day usually turns out a whole lot better!"
But before tomorrow could arrive,
I had to finish today.
When I picked up E from school today
she was walked to the car by her teacher-who seemed a bit peeved.
She explained, "We pulled her card today because she ran to a waiting van to pet a dog.
I told her that wasn't safe and we don't do that.
I told her to stand by the wall, but she left the area again."
Then looking at E she said, "Mom and dad want us to be safe."
The teacher looked at me for back up.
I played my part.
"We had the same problem a couple of weeks ago," I said.
"I told her she can't approach a car to pet a dog because it isn't safe."
Lastly, the teacher said E was going to have to stay after school tomorrow
(apparently that's the result of "having your card pulled")
to think about the consequences of her choices for a couple of minutes.
I closed the car door and E burst into tears saying, "I do NOT want her to be my teacher anymore." Then even louder, as she sobbed, she said, "I want her FIRED!"
I thought that was pretty clever.
I almost laughed.
Instead I opted to cry with her (behind my sunglasses) because I too was having
"one of those days."
I put the car in park - right there at the curb in the middle of pick up-
and opened her door to give her a couple of good hugs and a few tender kisses.
(I hope the teach saw that move!)
"Let's go home and discuss this," I said.
K started right in with the bugging as we pulled away from the school,
"Why are you sad? Why are you crying? What did she do?"
K had been bugging ME all morning.
I could tell (mother's intuition again) that if I was going to work this out with E,
I needed to be rid of my attention-seeking daughter K.
I drove straight over to my friend's house, calling her on the way.
"Hey. Are you home for the next little bit?" I asked.
She replied, "Yeah."
I asked, "Can I drop K off to play for an hour or so?"
She said, "Sure. Why don't you leave her for 2 hours?"
I said, "Great. I'm outside your gate. I'll be there in one minute."
By the time E and I got home, sans K, I needed to feed the baby and put him down for a nap.
So that's what I did.
Then E and I sunbathed - her choice - in the backyard.
We sat and talked at the table while she ate a snack.
We discussed what happened.
I told the story about the time I got a pink slip when I was in first grade.
It was my first and only one.
I was too embarrassed to tell the teacher why I got it.
I always regretted that since it wasn't my fault.
Then we laid a beach towel on the grass where we continued to sunbathe
and read stories from the Friend (children's church magazine).
E seems happy now. She doesn't want to talk anymore about "the incident."
I do. I'm mad at the teacher for forgetting or not understanding how to work with E.
Her brain works in a unique way - the Autism Spectrum way.
While rules need to be followed and not broken,
(I'm as big of a proponent for that as anyone will ever be)
anyone with a child on the Autism Spectrum knows that usually
our kids aren't breaking the rules, they just completely forget them.
Certainly stimuli can take over their brain's ability to process
in the heat of the moment.
It was not an act of willful disobedience the first or second time,
rather she simply responded to stimuli despite prior instruction not to.
This is exactly why we participate in Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapy
three times a week: to teach, review, and re-teach skills that other children just get.
I will have to go to school early tomorrow and talk with the teacher
to make sure E's "consequences" are fair.
Tomorrow, please do not disappoint.
We're are counting on you to provide a better day - for ALL of us.
8 comments:
Oh Jen, you are such a good mom. This entire post reminded me of a story that Sister Hinckley once shared when her son had a hard day at school and she handled it in a similar way you did.
Fingers crossed for a good day tomorrow. You deserve it after a day like today!
Wow - I am so sorry for your day! Hang in there - tomorrow WILL be better! And you are a wonderful mother and advocate for your daughter - and all the other daughters and sons out there! Keep up the good/hard work!
Sending you extra xoxo's tonight!
I am impressed how you handled the situation. You have some skills! She wasn't being BAD, she just made a poor choice. We all make those.....her teacher sounds a bit uptight......Good luck for tomorrow. I hope it goes better!
Awww! Poor Emma! Im sure the teacher will listen to you! I think I would have been with ya what she screamed FIRED! I would have laughed and then burst into tears myself! Youre such a GOOD LITTLE MOMMY!!!!!!
Jen, I love love love the fact that you pulled the car over and hugged little Emma. You hit it straight on, kids have bad days too, just like we do and they to should be allowed to "act out" sometimes. Those are the days when everything else has to wait and you "sunbathe" and "read stories!" You think these little ones and you have gone through a lot this year. A new baby being born and Daddy being gone. You guys are awesome and we love you and the girls sooooo much!!
You made some good choices and know E better than anyone. You're right. Tomorrow is always another day! Hang in there, laugh as much as you can, and get frequent breaks. You deserve a nice vacation when Drew returns.
You made some good choices and know E better than anyone. You're right. Tomorrow is always another day! Hang in there, laugh as much as you can, and get frequent breaks. You deserve a nice vacation when Drew returns.
Hang in there, Jen! Drew will be back before you know it and you two deserve some R & R. You made some good choices. It's toughest when they're small. You are a chosen daughter of God with highly intelligent, spiritual children. Their spirits are just too big for their little bodies! See you next weekend for theater, Easter dinner, and hunt!
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